Having Love Troubles? Boyfriend being a jerk? Girlfriend cheating on you? Just broke up with your love? Come and chat with me The King Of Romance to get the help you need. I want to save your Valentine’s Day!

-King Of Romance

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February 4, 2007

Dear King Of Romance,

Rumor has it that you’re the guy to turn to when love is doing turnovers! Well my love life stinks! My boyfriend is being a total anus! He’s always treating me like crap and to make matters worse, he’s cheating on me! I warn him every time I’m going to break up with him but then he pulls crap like “Please Baby stay! I’ll change!” What sucks is I fall for it all the time. Right now he’s being true to me and I haven’t seen him with another girl. But every now and then I can see him gazing at other females! I…don’t know if I can take this anymore. I love him, but it hurts to be wronged like this. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Lady Troubled Valentine


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Dear Lady TV (not television),

That is very troubling. I’ve had a relationship with a girl similar to this in the past. She was never someone I could rely on to stick with one guy. She was the girl all the guys wanted AKA “The Golden Girl”. I knew that she was cheating on me too, but I tried to ignore her because like you, I loved my girlfriend dearly. But then I realized something. I may have loved this girl but I came to wonder if she loves me. If my girlfriend really loved me, she wouldn’t be cheating on me. So why stay and make myself miserable by hanging on to someone who may not feel the same? With these discoveries I made, I found the courage to break up with her and I feel maybe you should let go of this guy too. It may hurt for a while, but I think it’s for the best. You could do a lot better than him.

I hope my advice has helped and if it hasn’t feel free to sue my site.

I wish you the best of luck.

King Of Romance


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Dear BlueRenegade,

Glad to see the site has finally got up. You seemed to be getting the publicity you’ve been wanting. I’m starting to regret setting up this Romance Advice site 4 you. Still I don’t understand why everyone runs to you for advice on romance! JK! I know you’re the best Marthie! Oops! I guess I’m not supposed to say your name on here! But maybe no one will find out who you really are!

I’m not much of a writer so I’m gonna end my rant right here!

May the Force be with you and your Romantic Site!

Sam-I-Am


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Dear Sam-I-Am,

Thanks for your dry support! But I know you meant well. You’ll see that this site is going to be the best around. Emails are going to be pouring in from town to town and from country to country. I will become a prodigy!

And you. Little Sammie, you'll just be your ole cocky self. Oh man…did I just say your name on the net? My bad! Well its like they say. Payback is like a….you know what.

-Blue Renegade



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February 9, 2007

Dear King Of Romance,

Well…I did what you told me. He didn’t take it easily and he practically begged me to come back and stay with him. It was difficult to resist him, but I walked away leaving him lost. I felt like crying when I turned from him, but after a while I felt…relieved. Like a giant boulder was just lifted off of me and I can move freely. But going home after the break up, I felt depression enter me again. I don’t know, maybe because I usually do something with ex-boyfriend everyday and now…

I’m boyfriendless.

I guess I’m just lonely. But will this loneliness go away?


Signed,

Lady Lonely Valentine


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Dear Lady Lonely Valentine,

Yeah…that’s one of the side effects of a break up. I think you should be over it in a while but the first couple of days are killer. But you shouldn’t just mope around the house. The best way to get over a break up is to become active! Though…I’m not quite sure what you should do to cure your sadness. So… I asked a friend of mine Peaches N’ Cream to tell me how she gets over her break ups.

She gave me a two-page list of things she does and I don’t think I’ll have enough room to list them. But she most importantly said that you should definitely get a full on spa treatment and as she quotes “Manni-Petti” included. (Guess that means manicure and pedicure) Another friend of mine TheLivingPyro and GreenMachine told me you should pay someone to act as your boyfriend to make your ex feel even worse. But maybe you should try something else. Princess Z and ChronoHero told me, whenever they have arguments it’s always good to put on some soothing music. Me…I say you should just get out there and just start over and have a more happier life. I hope one of these crazy ideas help you!

Nice to hear from you again!

-King Of Romance


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Dear Blue Renegade,

Yeah I know what. You don’t have to tell me. Anyway V-day is coming up and I’m searching for a gift for you. I think this will be the best gift exchange ever because I have a lot more money than before and I can buy you something unforgettable. No more electric socks for you this time. Plus they won’t be like the ghetto ones I had PK Big and PC Little jolt up for you. Ha ha! I will never forget those socks. I can’t wait for this day. To celebrate this special day! Can you guess what it is?

Sam-I-Am


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Dear Sam-I-Am,

Hmm……………………..

I really don’t know what’s so special about this day to come, except it will be Valentine’s Day. Clue me in?

-Blue Renegade


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Dear Blue Renegade,

One word to describe you. Lame!
To Celebrate the day we met!
Man…you’re such a loser.



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February 11, 2007

Dear King Of Romance

Wow. You have just been like the biggest help to me! That’s twice that your advice has helped me through my break up. I tried all the ideas you gave me (except for TheLivingPryro and GreenMachine’s ideas) LOL! But I sooooooo loved their advice! He’s still upset, and I feel kinda bad. But then I feel kinda good that other guys are being nice to me about the whole thing.

Everyone’s being super sweet and they feel I did the right thing. One of my guy friends told me, love goes and love will come again. He made me feel a lot better about myself. So anyway, I’m doing a lot better. It’s been really great getting to know about you and your friends. Seems like you have a pretty content life. Do you have a GF? I’d be shocked if you didn’t.

Signed,

Lady “Content” Valentine


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Dear Lady V, (I like that name)

Eh heh heh! Be prepared to be shocked with about 10,000 jolts of electricity. I do not have a girlfriend. I’m single and I’m pretty okay with that. I guess you could say that the right girl hasn’t come along yet. But I’m still searching. In the mean time I just try and help others with their problems. There’s this person who got me into giving advice.

She had some dilemmas of her own and she would always turn to me to solve them. After that, I was inspired to have my romance advice giving site. (With her help of setting up the site) It’s getting many comments and questions, but I haven’t had any interesting topics such as yours. I enjoy hearing you talk about your life. Write again sometime.

-King of Romance



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Dear King Of Romance,

I’m glad you like to hear about my life. Yours is pretty interesting to. I’m opening a chat room right now and you and me can have a conversation one on one if you like.

Lady Valentine


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Dear Lady V,

I don’t mind. Set it up and we’ll talk!


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Chat Room

King of Romance: Did you make it in?

Lady Valentine: Yeah, no problem here. This is soooo much easier than letters!

King Of Romance: I’ll say!

King Of Romance: So how is life where you live.

King of Romance: I mean, is everything just grand around there?

Lady Valentine: I guess you could call my life grand.

Lady Valentine: Besides me being a hopeless romantic. It really sucks to be without love!

King Of Romance: Ha ha. I’m sure it will get better.

King of Romance: Everyone feels this way after a break up. A friend of mine just went through these troubles.

Lady Valentine: 4 real? Did she have a dilemma as bad as mine?

King Of Romance: Hers was a bit more serious. She had a boyfriend that was abusing her physically and sometimes sexually.

Lady Valentine: OMG. That’s terrible. Did things get better? I’m sure they did with you totally awesome advice.

King of Romance: (sigh) It seemed like she would never get better. But she’s doing better everyday and she currently is dating again.

King of Romance: Things aren’t going so well with this guy either.

Lady Valentine: That’s really bad. You know the best kinds of guys in this world are ones who are true. Don’t you think?


King Of Romance: Well… I’m a guy, but I believe a faithful relationship is best.

Lady Valentine: (giggles) No wonder you’re the King Of Romance. You believe in all the stuff I believe in.

King Of Romance: Yeah, we do have similar beliefs.

Lady Valentine: I think we would make the perfect couple.

King Of Romance: ….?

Lady Valentine: OH! How awkward of a moment XD! I didn’t mean what I said literally!

King Of Romance:…okay? But it’s weird, because I was thinking the same thing.

Lady Valentine: Wow…that’s just….wow.

Lady Valentine: Um…this is weird…

Lady Valentine: look I’m gonna go. C U!

King Of Romance: K. Looks like I got some mail anyway.

End Of Conversation
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Dear King Of Romance,

Emergency! Flamezilla stuck his head into one of RedRigatoni’s (A/N: try saying that five times fast. seriously, it’s tough) pipe holes and he’s seriously stuck. Looks like we need a group tug to pull the lizard out of the hole. You game?

Sam-I-Am


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Dear Sam-I-Am,

DFL! I’ll be there in a flash! I’ll bring the video camera! Hey, I was just chattin with this girl on my site. Her name’s Lady V and she’s a nice person to talk to. We talked a couple times now and we’ve got a lot in common. At least in taste in people, I think there might be some kind of connection.

-Blue Renegade


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February 12, 2007

Dear Lady V,

Yesterday’s conversation ended a little bit shortly. I hope I didn’t stir up anything for you to hate me or something else. It seems like we had a conversation heating up there but we got disconnected after a few words were crossed. If you don’t think I’m some kind of bother, please write back. If you do, feel free to delete this message. But I would like to talk to you again.

-King Of Romance


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Dear Blue Renegade,

Sorry, but I didn’t get your message until the very next day. Flamezilla’s stupid claws cut me deeply in my index finger. Plus the stupid computer is acting up again. But hey, you found a girl on the net? What kind of connections? You like her? It’s not too wise to fall in love with someone you barely know on the Internet, don’t you think?

Sam-I-Am


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Dear King Of Romance,

(giggles) No. I don’t think you’re a bother at all. I just love talking to you about stuff I can never tell others about. The conversation did end abruptly though didn’t it? Well maybe we should continue the conversation a little more. Here’s some questions I have for you. What is it you like in a girl and what are things you hate girls to do?

Lady Valentine


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Dear Lady V,

Um…I like girls who like to laugh a lot and know how to take a joke. I mean they’d have to get along with my friends like TheLivingPyro who is never serious for an instant. What I don’t like for a girl to be is someone they’re not. To win the affection of somebody, they shouldn’t try to become someone else. I like my girls to be proud of who they are. I know I would be. And of course I find myself liking the beautiful ladies. Okay, here’s a question for you Miss V! What do you like in a guy and online dating?


-King of Romance


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King of Romance-

Online dating? Hmm…I think it can be sometimes dangerous but if you’re around someone who you can just tell is nothing but sweet, there is nothing to worry about. Kinda like you. You’re sweet and kind from just your emails. If I ever met you in person, I believe I could really get along with you. Oh! I guess I pretty much answered what I like in a guy! I have to go for a bit, but we will absolutely positively talk again!


Yours truly,

Lady Valentine


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Dear Sam-I-Am,

Well I thought it over and I think online dating is safe. As long as you can tell the person is trustworthy. Lady Valentine felt the same way and I’m starting to think that maybe Lady V is the lady of my dreams! Any girl who loves a true and heart filled relationship is all right in my book. What do you think? Should I ask her out?


-Blue Renegade


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Dear Blue Renegade,

WHAT? Ask her out? I’m sorry Marth but you hardly even know her! You said you’ve only chatted with her a few times. Shouldn’t you wait a bit before you start thinking of dating the girl? She may not be what she seems. I’m just looking out for you. Marth, you do know about the Internet creepos who live on the net right? What if this is some psychotic maniac or something?I know it’s a pretty slim chance. But you should be careful around her or him. I don’t want you to get hurt emotionally or physically. I mean…do you really believe that Lady Valentine could be the one?

Sam-I-Am


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Dear Sam-I-Am,

Without a doubt. Something is just telling me. This is the girl who is right for me after all these years. I think I’m going to go with my heart and ask her out. Hopefully she won’t reject me. I’ll sleep on it. G’Night!

-Blue Renegade


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Dear Peaches N’ Cream,

SOS! I have a major problem! Marth told me, he’s falling in love with this little prissy Lady V! She’s using some kind of charm to make Marth fall in love with her. I mean…it has to be some kind of psycho or something. But my words aren’t getting through Marth! He just keeps hanging on to that girl.

Ugh…Lady V…Lady V…IT MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM!

Sam-I-Am


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Sam-I-Am,

Um…is that really all that bad? Marth hasn’t had a crush on anybody in months. It wouldn’t be so bad if Marth fell in love with someone on the net. I actually think it’s pretty cute! It’s like cyber love! But wait…

Why does this affect you?


Is there something I should know? Don’t kill me for saying this but…

Do you have some kind of crush on the King Of Romance?


Peaches N’ Cream


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Peaches N’ Cream,

Well…yes. Is it that obvious? Well rereading my email 2 u, I guess anyone could’ve guessed that. So yes I do have a crush on Mr. King Of Romance. That’s why Lady V is buggin me so much! What is it he sees in her? Hmm…I can’t really compete with the girl. She’s seems better than me! Could you help me out? But I think I can guess your answer!

Sam-I-Am


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Sam-I-Am,

Hee hee! You really don’t have to ask. Anything that has to do with love, I’m game! So…how can I be of help?

Peaches N’ Cream



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February 13, 2007

Dear BlueRenegade,

So I heard from TheLivingPyro that you might have found your next girlfriend. Dude, you should just go for it! What’s the worse that could happen except a slap to the face and a witty comment? But it seems from what I’ve heard, she may be the one you’re searching for. But think with your heart not with your gut! Princess Z, told me to tell you that! Now, I have to go out and by the little princess something nice for V-day or else she’ll call me “Un-Romantic” again. She’s so difficult!

ChronoHero


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Dear ChronoHero,

I know, I know. Don’t need the lecture. But tell PZ ,thanks for the advice. I am thinking well with my heart. After much thought, I've decided to ask the girl out. I’m really nervous, so wish me the best of luck! If I don’t come back alive, I give you full custody to everything I own!

BlueRenegade (PS: You can never go wrong with candy and flowers! Plus a 14kt gold diamond ring)


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Dear King Of Romance,

So yeah I need your advice on something and you can’t say no after all the times I’ve had your back! Peaches N’ Cream was skipping around the building, humming to herself about something and I can’t put my finger on what. I tried to ask her and all she did was stare at me with a blank stare and gave me a paper that said exactly one word on it.

“Clueless”

Then she left. I don’t know what she meant by that and now she refuses to speak to me. What do I need to do to get my girl to speak to me again!

Don’t fail me now or I’ll find some way to blackmail you.

TheLivingPyro


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TheLivingPyro,

What have you ever done 4 me? Whenever I’m around you, I end up getting into some chaotic mess! But I’ll help you out since you’re so lost and I don’t want you to end up murdered by Peaches N’ Cream.

It’s Her Birthday Tomorrow Nimrod!

If that doesn’t help you out, I don’t know what does. But you better do something spectacular before Peaches N’ Cream finds someone else to snuggle up with on Valentine’s Day like SpeedDemon or The Omnipotent Evil.

Good luck with that! I have a girl to ask out!

King Of Romance


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Dear King Of Romance,

Oh man! It is, huh? Well………………….

This is bad,

But all is not lost. Maybe I can get Foresight7000 to erase her memory or something of that incident. Hmm…or maybe I’ll just wow her with a gift.

TheLivingPyro


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Dear King Of Romance

How silly of me to stall the real reason I’ve been talking 2 you. I really wanted to thank you for helping me through my time of need. I feel so much better than how I was feeling before! I think the only man in this world I can trust is you. I know this sounds a little awkward, since I’m supposed to be asking you a question and all. But I can’t resist it anymore. I would really like it if we could get to know each other. Let’s say…tomorrow? It will be Valentine’s Day! Oh…I hope that wasn’t too sudden. I’m blushing as I write this. XD You don’t have to respond back to this, but just show up at the Nintendo Park at 7:00pm. It’s like totally your choice! But this will be the only time I’ll be in Nintendo. I’d really like it if you would come to see me though. Nothing will change if you don’t show up. Though I may think otherwise!

Thanks again!


Yours Truly,
Lady Valentine


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Dear Lady Valentine,

Wow. Talk about thinking the same thing. I was just going to ask you the same question. Guess beautiful minds think alike! (Small joke :) ) Anyway it sounds like a pretty good idea. A place like Nintendo Park is pretty cool! I will definitely be there on Valentine’s Day! I’ve never done this before, but I’m pretty ecstatic about this and for the fact that I didn’t get slapped in my face since I didn’t have to ask you.

Signing out,

-King Of Romance


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Dear King Of Romance,

LOL! You’re just too too funny! But I can’t promise you I won’t slap you if you bore me. JK!

Lady Valentine

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Chatroom Conversation

ChronoHero: So…you think he asked her out?

Princess Z: Lady V? I don’t know. Maybe.

Sam-I-Am: He better not have. He could do a whole lot better than that girl!

Princess Z:… R u sure Sammie? You never really met Lady V.

ChronoHero: True. But you know Sam! She doesn’t like it when people go after her men!

Sam-I-Am: LINK! WHAT THE HECK!

Princess Z: What if Marth sees that comment? You should kick yourself for that mistake. Everyone X-out!


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New Chatroom

Sam-I-Am: (glares at ChronoHero) ……………

Princess Z: (rolls eyes) Your dense brain strikes again. Sometimes I wonder about u.

ChronoHero: Why must you two always give me a hard time? I’m sorry!

Princess Z: Sorry But we can’t help but point out your dumb moments

ChronoHero: With that attitude Zellie, your gift will go back 2 the store.

Princess Z: Oh…and dare I ask what you got me this year? Snakeskin socks to go with the snakeskin boots you gave me?

ChronoHero: I really don’t know what’s wrong with that gift

Princess Z: I don’t know! Maybe it has to do with two facts. #1…it’s unromantic.

Princess Z:And #2… I HATE SNAKES! WHY WOULD I WANT A DEAD ONE ON MY FEET!

ChronoHero: Technically it’s not the snake. Just it’s skin.

Sam-I-Am: I’d quit chattin about last year if you want to live Chrono.

TheLivingPyro: Hey! I’m here!

BlueRenegade: Along with me!

ChronoHero: So you’re back! So what’s the update on Lady Valentine!

Peaches N’ Cream: No! Wait you guys! I want to hear too! I said I’d be right back.

TheLivingPyro: A second l8ter and you would have missed out on the convo.

Peaches N’ Cream: Someone, please tell that Pyro loving idiot that I’m on thin ice with him and I’m not speaking to him!

TheLivingPyro: What did I do!?

BlueRenegade: Can u guys settle this later? I have news. Turns out Lady V ended up asking me out instead and I said yes.

Princess Z: Wow…really?

BlueRenegade: We’re meeting up on Valentine’s Day.

Peaches N’ Cream: That’s… interesting.

ChronoHero: Yep.

BlueRenegade: What’s up with you three? You guys were always pressing me to find somebody and I did.

Princess Z: It’s nothing! Congrats Marth.

Peaches N’ Cream: Yeah…

TheLivingPyro: It’s good news Marth. Don’t you think so Sam?

Sam-I-Am: …

BlueRenegade: What’s the deal Sam?

Sam-I-Am: Nothing you care about.

ChronoHero: Look…I’m gonna go!

Princess Z: Me too!

Peaches N’ Cream: Good idea. Later!

TheLivingPyro: Why do we have to leave?

Princess Z, Peaches N’ Cream, ChronoHero: GET OFF ROY!

TheLivingPyro: Fine…

BlueRenegade: Is there something I missed here?

Sam-I-Am: Why are you going out w/ Lady V?

BlueRenegade: It’s something I want to do.

Sam-I-Am: Do you really think you can trust someone like her? She’s had boyfriend problems and everything! Doesn’t that matter 2 you at all.

BlueRenegade: I don’t care. She seems like the right person 4 me. Why are you so concerned about it?

Sam-I-Am: It’s not safe Marth! You’re making a terrible mistake!

Sam-I-Am: Did you 4get about what we’re doing at 7pm in Nintendo Park?

BlueRenegade: What?


Sam-I-Am: The gift exchange! Our special day of remembering the first day we met!

Blue Renegade: Why do you want to celebrate?

Sam-I-Am: Cuz it means a lot to me!

Blue Renegade: Sam, we can meet for years to come. This is my only chance to meet Lady Valentine. She’s the one.

Sam-I-Am: Yeah, a sweet talker! That’s great Marth! You keep your little filthy promise 2 a girl.

Sam-I-Am: Even if it’s only one day to see her! You should know what’s more important. You can see her if u so badly have to!

Sam-I-Am: It’s your choice! Bye!

BlueRenegade: Whatever. You’re just being selfish!

End Of Conversation



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February 14, 2007 Valentines Day!

King Of Romance,

Hey, this is Princess Z. Sorry for barging in on your website about this but Sammie told me everything that happened yesterday. I feel for her, but I suppose it’s your choice. If you truly think you will be happy with Lady Valentine, I’m with you 100 percent. But please make up with Sam. She seems really upset. That’s all. But on a good note, Link is official “Romantic” thanks to you. He had someone come into my room and decorate full of red and white roses and he had written a beautiful love song for me to play on my harp! Thanks for advising him! I think we’re finally going to have a good Valentine’s Day!

Princess Z


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King Of Romance,

Well your advice helped. Zelda practically roughly made out with me after she woke up and saw her gift! Okay she didn’t make out with me roughly but I did get some memorable kisses from her and she got me something interesting for V-Day. It was a new bow and arrow set but the arrows were heart shaped. Ha ha. Go figure. Thinking of me as cupid. By the way good luck with your date with Miss Lady Valentine. Please make up with Sam though. She’s really cracked!

ChronoHero


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King Of Romance

WHOO-HOO! I did it! Peach forgave me. I didn’t even have to use Foresight7000 to erase her memory. You should have seen her face when she saw the heart shaped hot air balloon outside her bedroom with her name on it. She screamed in delight! She and I are going to take the balloon for a spin and we may never come back down. If you know what I mean (wink ,wink) Thanks again man! I owe ya!


TheLivingPyro


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King Of Romance,

You told him didn’t you? To remember my birthday? Well I’m glad you did because I was so going to clock him if he didn’t remember to say Happy Birthday to me! Thanks Marth! But…on other matters. I guess you’re going to see Lady V from the information I gathered through gossip. Wish you the best of luck. But you better make up with Sammie or give her a gift. She’s going to be so lonely on V-Day! You don’t want your name to change from the King Of Romance to The King Of Jerks.

Peaches N' Cream


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Group Email To: ChronoHero, Princess Z, TheLivingPyro, and Peaches N’ Cream

I’m glad my advice helped you guys out. I hope you all have some romantic Valentine’s days. But…about Sam. I don’t know when, but I’ll make up with her whenI feel like it I guess. Right now, she has me so angry that I can't even look at her. But I’m going to confront her in a way, she would never imagine. I promise you guys she won’t get hurt, but she’ll learn something. Guess I’m off to meet Lady Valentine. Talk 2 you guys later.

King Of Romance AKA BlueRenegade AKA Marth

(PS: Peach and Roy, please don't argue in the Hot Air Balloon and fall out okay?)



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Later That Evening At Nintendo Park

Marth took a deep breath as he stood at the gates of the Park. It was 6:59 PM. Only one more minute until he would get to meet Lady Valentine. He didn’t really take much time to decide what he would wear tonight, except he decided to wear his red armor for the holiday. The wind tickled his blue bangs against his face. The night sky was visible since it was Daylight Savings Time.

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”

It was 7pm.

Sure enough the big clock tower started to chime seven times. Only four times went by before Marth heard footsteps walking towards him. They were the sounds of heels clicking against the hard concrete sidewalk. He walked into the park and saw a girl heading in his direction. She had dark brown hair resting right as her shoulders with a red ribbon tied in a bow as her headband. Her top was maroon, double strapped on one side and one strap on the other. The back of top was open in the back besides the crisscrossed straps going across her body. Her skirt ended right at mid thigh and was held together with black laces crisscrossed on her sides. What stood out to him the most were her illuminating blue eyes.

“King Of Romance?” She asked in a soft and innocent voice.

Marth stopped inspecting her and met her at eye length. “Yeah. That would be correct. So you must be Lady Valentine right?”

Lady Valentine smiled. “Yes, but you usually call me Lady V! I’m glad you came to see me. I wasn’t sure if you would show.” She slowly walked up to him keeping her sweet smile.

Marth gave her a second glance. He sighed, coming to a conclusion. “I wasn’t either.”

Lady V reached out for his hand. “Well…shall we walk through the park and get to know each other? We did come to date each other right?”

Marth stared at her hand and gently grabbed it. “Right. But now I’m regretting it,” he said as he softly placed her hand at her side.

The brunette’s eyes widened. “What? What do you mean?”

Marth closed his eyes and sighed once again. He turned away from the girl. “I’m sorry Lady V. But I haven’t been quite honest with you. When we first met, I thought we were just perfect for each other. Though after giving much thought after I said yes. I realized I was wrong.”

“Wrong?” the girl repeated quietly.

“Right. I care for someone else. I’m in love with my best friend Samus Aran. I didn’t realize it till last night,” Marth said without fear.

Lady Valentine’s face was unreadable. “But…all that stuff you said to me!” She grabbed his shoulders. “Didn’t you say you’d like to see me? Why did you say that if you didn’t mean it! You like that Sam-I-Am person?” her voice cracking.

“Well…because I did want to see you. I really don’t love Sam-I-Am as much as I love you Lady Valentine,” Marth replied. “I just love your looks and especially your smile."

Her eyes grew in size. Marth was making no sense to her. “What? Didn’t you just say that you don’t love me?”

“Correct. I did say those words.” Marth raised an eyebrow. “What do you think I said?”

“You just said to me that you loved me. You said that you liked my smile and just everything. Are you feeling okay?” she questioned the swordsman.

“I’m feeling great.” His smile turned into an angry frown. “Except one thing.” He crossed his arms turning to Lady Valentine. “You’re creeping me out!” Marth just narrowed his eyes as Lady V still stood bewildered. “How did you know I lived here in Nintendo? All those times I talked to you I never revealed my location! To top it off, how do you know about Sam-I-Am?” Marth shouted angrily at her.

“I…I…” the girl stammered. “I could’ve sworn you said your friend’s name at least once in our conver- “

“I never said her name!” Marth snapped. “You really are one of those predators aren’t you? What are you a man or a woman?” he asked furiously.

“I’m neither… I mean I’m a woman. I’m Lady Valentine!” Lady V said in a panic. “That’s who I am.”

“Liar!” Marth grabbed for his sheath, scaring the woman as he pulled out the sword. “Tell me the truth or I take your life now!”

“Marth you have really lost it! I just told you who I was!” Lady Valentine said again. “My name is Lady Valentine and nothing else! I know who I am! It’s obvious you don’t!” The girl gasped in fear as Marth roughly grabbed her hand. His sword raised in the moonlight. “Stop it Marth! This isn’t you!”

"So you know my name now too!" Marth scoffed. "You’re really some sweet innocent princess! I told you to be honest and now you’re going to have to pay! But I have one more question for you.” He grabbed her right index finger and held it up to her eyes. “Does this hurt?” he asked her softly.

Lady Valentine looked up at her finger and saw which one he was holding. Her injured right index finger was in his hands. She looked up at Marth, asking him a question with her eyes. He slowly nodded. She felt tears build up in her eyes, as she fell against Marth’s body and he circled his arms around her.

“This isn’t you.” Marth said softly. “This isn’t you at all…Samus.” He rocked her body against him, as her tears dripped onto his clothes.
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Marth silently watched as Samus struggled to get the blue contacts out of her eyes. It was difficult through her tears. She had taken off the brunette wig, letting her blonde hair free to fall down her back. As she got the last one out, Marth grabbed her hand gently getting her attention. Samus faced him, her eyes were a little pink, but her green eyes were back.“When did you figure out it was me?”

“I found out some time ago, when we were talking in that chat room the first time, when I was King Of Romance and you were Lady Valentine. When you started talking about the guys you were interested in, I started to think Lady V, sounded like you. I didn’t give it much thought, but as I went back and read the emails you sent me, I noticed they were similar stories to your past boyfriend troubles. I grew suspicious so then I started to experiment with you. I wrote emails questioning you as Lady Valentine and as your real email Sam-I-Am.”

Samus nodded. “So I guess as you started talking to me you noticed things that reveal it to you.”

“Yes. I don’t know if you noticed it, but after I said I was going to see Lady Valentine, you started to make some errors in hiding your identity. I don’t know if you were blinded with anger. But you started telling me things I only talked to you about in the Lady Valentine conversations. Right after that, I knew there was no mistaking that Sam-I-Am and Lady Valentine were one in the same. Just different personalities.”

“Wow,” Samus said sarcastically. “They weren’t lying when they said you could figure out any puzzle. Nothing ever gets past you.”

“Well…one thing did. I still don’t understand why you created Lady Valentine person in the first place. Could you explain the idea behind that please?” Marth released Samus’ hand seeing she was feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“I needed to know what kind of girls you liked. I wanted you to like me as more than a friend. As you know, my life was anything but peachy keen. Boyfriend after boyfriend treating me wrong. I never could find someone I could call my true love. One thing always stood out to me though was you were just the light to my darkness.”

“Always backing me up and if any of them tried to lay a finger on me, you were always there.” Samus looked up at the starry sky. “I couldn't fight my true feelings, I knew that I just wanted to be with you. But it seemed you didn’t have that much interest in me. You were after other girls and I felt like you just treated me like a buddy. I pretended to dislike Lady Valentine in hopes you wouldn't catch on to what I was doing.”

"Being with Lady Valentine would only mean I'd be upsetting you. So..I'm still baffled here. What good was Lady V?"

"I was going to play her for a while, to get to know more about you. Then when I found enough info about the kind of girls you liked, I was going to do something to make you break up with this persona and then I was going to be Samus again. But I'd be Samus, who is just like Lady Valentine. The woman you grew to love."

“So, you took up the name Lady Valentine to find out what kind of girl I liked. In hopes of becoming this dream girl you thought I wanted?” He watched Samus nod, without even looking at him. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Well, that was pretty stupid.”

"Sam, look at me." Samus' eyes fell on the blue haired swordsman. “Don’t you remember the one thing I said, that I don't like girls doing? I don’t like when they try to be anyone…”

“…but themselves,” Samus ended to quote. “So…were you just toying with Lady Valentine? You knew she wasn’t this sweet person?”

“Actually I was trying to hint to you, that I was catching on. But you didn’t take the bait. So I had to stoop to this level and teach you a lesson.”

“With your bad acting skills?” Samus asked.

“They worked didn’t they?” Marth watched Samus nod again. “ Besides, I was the only playing monkey see, monkey do. You were overacting as well. But that's beside the point."

"Samus, those girls I went out with, I didn’t plan on being with them. I just went out with them hoping for change. Hoping they would be themselves sometime. No go." He glanced over at Samus, who was looking very lost in her own world. "You know…I just remembered why this day is important.”

“It’s not only because it’s been two years since we met each other, but also a year since the time I almost asked you out.” He smiled, as Samus stared at him in shock. “Yes, I was going to ask you out. But I thought the same thing you did. Seeing your carefree spirit I felt I couldn’t hold up to your standards so I chickened out.”

“But what happened to being yourself?” Samus questioned him.

“I didn’t think about stuff like that back then. I always wanted to please others and not myself. How foolish I was," Marth laughed.

Samus lightly smiled with shame. “How foolish I was. But…I would like it very much if our foolish selves could be together. What do you say to…” Marth gently placing his hands on her face, guiding her lips to his, interrupted Samus. Samus blushed as he kissed her lovingly, not expecting him to respond so quickly, but she didn’t back away.

Samus broke the kiss for a second, even if Marth was getting into it. “So. Do I take that as a yes, King Of Romance?”

“Exactly Lady V,” he said, kissing her rosy lips again. This time Samus let him pull her body against him, allowing him to kiss her in a loving way. Samus felt love could never be much sweeter than this.


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11:58PM on Valentine’s Day

Dear Lady Valentine aka Sam-I-AM aka Samus Aran,

Well…I don’t know what to say except; I hope I saved your Valentine’s Day. I’ve never seen you as happy as I did earlier. But now that all the festivities are over, I find myself missing you on these last two minutes of Valentine’s Day and I’m kinda growing tired of emails. I long to be holding you in my arms once again and kissing you right now. Whatever name you answer to now, please come see me my Sweet Valentine.

Love you From the Bottom of my Heart,

King Of Romance aka Marth


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Dear King Of Romance,

Ha, ha, you're making me blush! Don’t worry I’m coming right after this last email from this name. Thanks for helping me find the real and true me. Somehow, you always find a way, to make me appreciate who I am. Though it was a little overdramatic (I will get you back for that, by the way), it was an eye-opener. And I love you dearly for it. Thanks for your loving advice! I’m coming right now, but until I get there,

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Hugs and Kisses for You! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Yours who loves you and only you truly,

Lady Valentine (the “new” happy and loved Samus Aran)